Sea Jokes

Are you a lion of the sea? Because I’m sure, I’ll see you in my bed tonight, lion.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
While fishing in the blue lagoon,
I caught a lovely silver fish,
And he spoke to me, "My boy," quoth he,
"Please set me free and I'll grant your wish;
A kingdom of wisdom? A palace of gold?
Or all the fancies your mind can hold?"
And I said, "O.K." and I set him free,
But he laughed at me as he swam away,
And left me whispering my wish
Into a silent sea.

Today I caught that fish again
(That lovely silver prince of fishes),
And once again he offered me,
If I would only set him free,
Any one of a number of wishes,
If I would throw him back to the fishes.

He was delicious!!

(Shel Silverstein)
Long time no sea.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
Why is Daddy Special? A father, mother and child went out to spend time on the beach on a hot summer's day, but as soon as they reached the beach they discovered that there was a black flag there, a sign not to enter the water. The boy really wanted to get in the water, but his mother did not agree and they stayed on the beach to rest in the sun and play in the sand. After a few minutes, the father got bored and turned to his wife: "Keep an eye on the boy, I'm going into the water, there's no way the sea is really that dangerous." After a few minutes the boy asked "Mom, why did you let dad get in the water and not me?" "Because you and father are two different people and there are things he can do and you can't." answered the mother. "Is it because dad knows how to swim really well?" continued the boy. "Not really" answered the mother. "Is it because dad is big and strong?" "No." "Then why is daddy allowed to enter the water and I'm not?" the boy complained. "Because daddy has life insurance."
A Meeting of Witches There were once four powerful witch covens: the witches of the mountains, the deserts, the forests, and the seas. For a thousand years they made war with one another, casting curses and hexes and bringing all manner of malady to the land in their hatred for one another. One day, they decided the only solution was to convene for a meeting of all the covens, in which they would either strike a deal for peace, or end it all in violent bloodshed. The sea witches arrived first, carried upon a tidal wave that bore them up and onto the coast, the waters crashing loudly as they struck the shoreline as if to announce their presence. The mountain witches rode down the hillside upon magical storm clouds, thunder and lightning bursting from their steeds of vapor, a tumultuous blizzard ravaging the mountains in their wake. The forest witches, shape-shifters, emerged in the form of gnarled roots which encircled the meeting place and rose out of the ground, bending and twisting into humanoid silhouettes from which sprung skin and clothing, as a flurry of leaves swirled around furiously. The sand witches arrived in a catering truck.
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