Summer

How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Your name must be Summer because you are hot.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
Honesty ISN'T Always the Best Policy
Honesty ISN'T Always the Best Policy Once there was a little boy that lived in the country with his father. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter - and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen and the little boy decided that that was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
When I got home from camp today,
My parents almost died.
They asked me how I got this way,
And here's what I replied:

This little cast from heel to hip
Is nothing much at all.
Some broken shingles made me slip
From off the dining hall.

The poison ivy's not too bad.
It missed my back and chest.
Of course, I guess I oughta add
Mosquitoes got the rest.

I tried to eat some hick'ry nuts
And cracked a tooth or two.
And all these bruises, scabs, and cuts?
I haven't got a clue.

I got the lump that's on my head
From diving in the lake.
I should've watched for rocks instead
Of grabbing for the snake.

That leaves this bandage on my chin
And these three finger sprains,
Along with lots of sunburned skin
And sniffles from the rains.

I also got a muscle cramp
And very nearly drowned.
It's some terrific summer camp,
The coolest one around.

(By Richard Thomas)
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
Get in the swim this summer.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
Summer is just floating by.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
This summer is going swimmingly.