Refuse Jokes

I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home.
I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.”

- Erma Bombeck.
“You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.”
—P. J. O’Rourke
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
My wife showed me two of her mother’s quilts and asked me which one I preferred.
I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
Apparently you can get the Corona virus if your eye touches someone else's eye.
I guess it's a good thing I refuse to make eye contact.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
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