Sucks Jokes

Today I met my favorite celebrity at work.
It sucks working in a morgue.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
It sucks to be a penis because your roommates are nuts, your neighbor is an as*hole, your best friend is a pu**y, and your owner strangles you every night until you throw up.
Q. What's the difference between a bandleader and a gynecologist? A. A bandleader f**ks his singers and a gynecologist sucks his fingers.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks.
My Spotify sucks. It showed me the hottest singles, and missed you out!
Adam and the Witch A man named Adam walked along a forest trail, when suddenly he was stopped by an evil looking crone, who calls herself a witch. The witch screeches at him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed!" Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive." Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely will be cursed!" Adam: "Nope. You're hideous." The witch then transformed him into an ant. Witch: "Look where your rudeness brought you! " Adam: "Yeah this sucks, but you still look like a moldy potato." Witch: "Very well, then. You will remain in this form until you repent and call me pretty!" He is still adamant.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
“Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math.”

- Amber Dusick.
I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White.
The pay sucks, but I'm not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.
My leaf blower doesn’t work.
It just sucks!
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
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