It sucks to be a penis because your roommates are nuts, your neighbor is an as*hole, your best friend is a pu**y, and your owner strangles you every night until you throw up.
Q. What's the difference between a bandleader and a gynecologist? A. A bandleader f**ks his singers and a gynecologist sucks his fingers.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks.
Adam and the Witch
A man named Adam walked along a forest trail, when suddenly he was stopped by an evil looking crone, who calls herself a witch.
The witch screeches at him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed!"
Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive."
Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely will be cursed!"
Adam: "Nope. You're hideous."
The witch then transformed him into an ant.
Witch: "Look where your rudeness brought you! "
Adam: "Yeah this sucks, but you still look like a moldy potato."
Witch: "Very well, then. You will remain in this form until you repent and call me pretty!"
He is still adamant.