Sucks Jokes

It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Adam and the Witch A man named Adam walked along a forest trail, when suddenly he was stopped by an evil looking crone, who calls herself a witch. The witch screeches at him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed!" Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive." Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely will be cursed!" Adam: "Nope. You're hideous." The witch then transformed him into an ant. Witch: "Look where your rudeness brought you! " Adam: "Yeah this sucks, but you still look like a moldy potato." Witch: "Very well, then. You will remain in this form until you repent and call me pretty!" He is still adamant.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
My Spotify sucks. It showed me the hottest singles, and missed you out!
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
Today I met my favorite celebrity at work.
It sucks working in a morgue.
I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White.
The pay sucks, but I'm not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.
My leaf blower doesn’t work.
It just sucks!
“Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math.”

- Amber Dusick.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
It sucks to be a penis because your roommates are nuts, your neighbor is an as*hole, your best friend is a pu**y, and your owner strangles you every night until you throw up.
Q. What's the difference between a bandleader and a gynecologist? A. A bandleader f**ks his singers and a gynecologist sucks his fingers.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks.
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