Press Jokes

The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
The other day I was lifting weights on the bench press, when I dropped the weight and it fell on my chest. The nurse said I broke three ribs but I would live. Hearing that really lifted a weight off my chest.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Hey girl, are you a faulty French press because I’d like to be burned by you and recall you afterward.
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
I asked my husband to please press pause on the movie We were watching.
He called the dog over for the task, wanted to press his paws.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
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