Perfectly Jokes

What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
Omelette you in on a secret. You and I would brie perfectly gouda.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
The Problem With the Light Switch Recently I was having trouble with my light switch so I called for the maintenance guy. An old grizzled Chinese man arrived shortly after and inspected the switch. He stated that the light switch was working perfectly fine but noted that indeed it was not working as I had said. "This is not a job for just one person. You need more people to help you." He said, so I got my wife to help. Still no good. "More people" he said as he saw it still not working. So at that point, I got my son and daughter to help as well but still no luck "Many more." He said. Luckily the neighbors were home and after a quick discussion with them I had the whole clan from next door over to help. In total there were now 11 people, plus the maintenance man in the lounge. At this point the maintenance man tells me to get everyone to touch the switch and to try it again and sure enough, it worked. I was flabbergasted and asked how and why this had worked now where it wouldn't before with just myself. He replied "Many hands make light work."
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Why did the King of Hearts marry the Queen of Hearts?
They were perfectly suited to each other.
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
There was an Old Person whose habits,
Induced him to feed upon rabbits;
When he'd eaten eighteen,
He turned perfectly green,
Upon which he relinquished those habits.
There was an old man in a tree,
Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
But the birds of the air,
Pluck'd them perfectly bare,
To make themselves nests on that tree.
Are you a card?
We're perfectly suited for each other
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