Everyone

At the end of the year, there is always a rock nā€™ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said ā€œI knead dough to live.ā€
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
She's like the heel of the bread: everyone touches her but nobody wants her.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
I wrote down a list of everyone I hate on a piece of paper and my roommate use it to roll his joint....
He's now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Communism jokes only work if everyone gets them.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
I've fallen in love- I don't know why
I've fallen in love with a girl with one eye.

I knew from the start. It was plain to see
That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me

She's charming and witty and jolly and jocular
Not what you'd expect from a girl who's monocular.

Of eyes - at the moment - she hasn't full quota
But that doesn't change things for me one iota.

It must be quite difficult if you're bereft.
If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.

But she's made up her mind. She's made her decision.
She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.

She'll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
If she looks slightly sideways she'll see me in church.

I'll marry my true love who's gentle and kind.
And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.

(By Andrew Jefferson)