My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious. He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
There once was a girl named Sue. She came down with the case of the flu. She let out a sigh, "My temperature is high, what ever shall I do? Oh my! Oh my! I think I will die. What ever shall I do?"
So, she stumbled out of bed. "I know I'll take some meds. If this the flu, I take an aspirin or two. Then I'll drink some broth and some juice. Oh my! Oh my!" she began to cry. "I think this is acute."
So, she grumbled back to bed and pulled the covers over her head. She let out a sneeze, a cough and a wheeze. "Won't someone help me, please? Oh my! Oh my! Will I survive the case of the crazy flu?"
So, she finally fell asleep. She slept and slept for a week. She tossed and turned, her symptoms have passed. Her temperature normal at last. "Oh my! Oh my! I think I survived this case of the crazy flu."
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."