Nothing

To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
My girlfriend keeps saying that a small dick is nothing to worry about.
I still wish she hadn't got one.
Did you hear about the man who had nothing else to do so drilled into his own head?
He was bored to death.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."

People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
“I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.”
The Case of the Town's Gossip
The Case of the Town's Gossip Mildred, the local gossip and self appointed keeper of the church’s morals, kept poking her nose into other people’s business. Several members of the church did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but kept to themselves in fear of reprisal. She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member, Sam, of being an alcoholic after seeing his old pickup parked outside the town’s only pub one afternoon. She emphatically told Sam and several others of the congregation that by seeing his car there, everyone would know exactly what he was doing. Sam, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment then just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Sam quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house...and left it there all night.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Nothing runs a pun like bad spelling, accept poor grammar's.
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
Did you hear about the math professor who was afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Out On Family Safari
Out On Family Safari Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whisky, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife said, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said Ben, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
Robin Williams
“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.”
Oscar Wilde
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
Linda Grayson
“I have noticed that even people who claim everything is pre­determined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.”
Stephen Hawking
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.