Lips Jokes

When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Twinkle twinkle little pie,
You squash my willpower like a fly.
You look so innocent and so sweet,
Convince my lips that we should meet.
You are a relentless flirt,
Oh no, we had indecent dessert.

Twinkle twinkle help appears,
A Stevia leaf erased my fears.
It made my willpower a superhero,
As for calories it has zero.
Twinkle twinkle Truvia™ star,
It has natural sweetness I love just what you are.
(Michael Hack)
I wish I was Tim Horton's coffee…So I could get close to your lips.
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips? Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking.
No taxation without representation! But, there is a kiss tax. Strictly enforced and right on the lips.
"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass." — Rodney Dangerfield,
Kiss me! Let me taste your sweet lips before the asteroid destroys earth
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Hey (say their name), I know this is not a chat room but my lips want to chat with yours.
A lad and a lass from Aberystwyth
United the lips that they kystwyth.
But as they grew older,
They also grew bolder,
And played with the things that they pystwyth.
If I’m reading their lips correctly,
my neighbors are arguing about some creepy guy next door.
We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bulls**t around your lips.
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