Sarah's parents are excited to meet her new boyfriend. This is the first time the 28 year old has brought a man to meet her parents. Her mother slaved over a hot stove all day, while the father cleaned the house and cut the grass. They both wore their best clothes and waited for Sarah.
At 8PM they hear that ring. They open the door and Sarah is there, standing next to a huge man, full of tattoos, and a face that looks like it has been in every possible fight, with scars aplenty crossing his face. He looks like he beats people for a living.
After some hesitant pleasantries, the shocked parents take Sarah to the kitchen.
"What the heck, Sarah?" asked her mother, "Why would you date a guy like that, he looks like a thug!"
"You've got him all wrong," said Sarah, irritated, "he's an incredibly nice and charitable guy."
"What makes you say that?" asked her father.
"Well, just this month he spent 200 hours serving his community!"
A doctor is going around the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the man is lying in bad condition, worse than when he came in.
"Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks the doctor suspiciously.
"Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight tablets every two hours!"
At the next bed, the next patient also appears half dead.
"Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?"
"Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour," replies the nurse.
Unfortunately, at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life.
"Nurse," asks the doctor, taken aback, "did you prick his boil?!?"
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