Navy Jokes

Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
An Over Exaggeration Three men were sitting at a veterans bar talking. One was American, One was English and one was African. At some point, the American said: "Did you know that our air force is so big, that when all our planes are out flying. We can't even see the sun!" "That's nothing!" scoffed the Englishman. "Our Navy is so huge, that if we line up all our boats we can walk on a straight line all the way from England to America without getting wet feet. After a short while the African said: "One day when I was taking a piss in the forest, 14 crows landed on my penis... At the same time." That was when they all realized that maybe, just maybe... They all over exaggerated . The American admitted: "Well, maybe we do see the sun shining through...". And Englishman answered: "And we actually have to swim a bit to reach the American shoreline..." And the African said: "And those 14 crows... Well, they were sitting pretty close together."
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
Military submarines are a deep navy blue in color.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
What’s Your Name, Sailor? A crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face in his unit and barked at him immediately. “Get over here! What’s your name, sailor?” “John,” the new seaman replied. “Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever. And you are to refer to me as ‘Master Chief.’" He gave him a threatening glare honed by years of experience. "Do I make myself clear?” “Aye, Aye, Master Chief!” “Now that we’ve got that straight, what’s your last name?” The seaman sighed. “Darling, my name is John Darling, Master Chief.” “Okay, John, here’s what I want you to do...”
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
How the Army Secures a Building The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker among themselves is that they don’t speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase “secure the building”. The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
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