Three men were sitting at a veterans bar talking. One was American, One was English and one was African. At some point, the American said: "Did you know that our air force is so big, that when all our planes are out flying. We can't even see the sun!"
"That's nothing!" scoffed the Englishman. "Our Navy is so huge, that if we line up all our boats we can walk on a straight line all the way from England to America without getting wet feet.
After a short while the African said: "One day when I was taking a piss in the forest, 14 crows landed on my penis... At the same time."
That was when they all realized that maybe, just maybe... They all over exaggerated .
The American admitted: "Well, maybe we do see the sun shining through...".
And Englishman answered: "And we actually have to swim a bit to reach the American shoreline..."
And the African said: "And those 14 crows... Well, they were sitting pretty close together."
A crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face in his unit and barked at him immediately.
“Get over here! What’s your name, sailor?”
“John,” the new seaman replied.
“Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever. And you are to refer to me as ‘Master Chief.’"
He gave him a threatening glare honed by years of experience. "Do I make myself clear?”
“Aye, Aye, Master Chief!”
“Now that we’ve got that straight, what’s your last name?”
The seaman sighed.
“Darling, my name is John Darling, Master Chief.”
“Okay, John, here’s what I want you to do...”
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker among themselves is that they don’t speak the same language.
For instance, Take the simple phrase “secure the building”.
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.