A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren.
"I send gifts, greeting cards and checks to my grandchildren," complains one, "and still they barely visit me!"
The second old lady said "Oh I too send checks to my grandchildren and they visit me all the time!"
"You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own." said the first one sadly.
The second old lady smiled: "No my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours."
"So what do YOU do different? Are your checks bigger than mine?" Asked the first one, surprised.
"No," chuckled the other old lady, "I just don't sign mine."
It was Christmas morning and an old man was enjoying opening presents with his family but every time he opens a present, he checks to be sure that everything is there…
“Great, 4 steak knives. 1, 2, 3 and 4!”
“A dozen wrenches? Brilliant! 1, 2, 3, 4….10, 11 and 12!
“Four wine glasses, neat. 1, 2, 3 and one more makes 4.”
This continues on for some time and his family is growing increasingly annoyed with him. Yet he continues on.
“Fifty fishing lures, oh my. 1, 2, 3, 4…”
"Oh for father's sake, Adam," his wife suddenly yelled at him: "It was ONE rib, let is go!"
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