A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian checks her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet." The man replies, "Yes, that's the one."
A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it. Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature. Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"