Funny Family Jokes

My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
I donโ€™t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, itโ€™s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
After 30 years of marriage, I can both proudly and firmly declare that I still wear the pants in my family...
My wife just tells me which ones to wear.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?

A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
Itโ€™s our family hair loom.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: โ€œDam it.โ€
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