The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.
The roses have wilted,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl is empty,
And so is your head.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
"As has often been noted, physics is to math what lovemaking is to masturbation."

Student : "So you're saying both fields are good, but without an attempt to understand the universe, the search for deeper mathematical truth is empty?"

Professor : "I'm saying you'll spend most of undergrad doing math."