“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
The day after your birthday, you look in the mirror to see: a) you've got a zit from eating all that cake; b) your love handles have expanded a half inch; c) you singed your eyebrows blowing out the candles.
The day after your birthday, a) you require six extra hours of sleep; b) you can't find your living room under the birthday debris; c) you wonder how you could possibly have done THAT.
The day after your birthday, it's time to: a) return some gifts (what IS that, anyway?); b) call your friends and apologize for yesterday; c) get out of the country, fast.
The day after your birthday... we should all look so great and have it so good!
Happy Birthday! Appreciate yourself and your life!
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold. It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
One day, a drunk man busted into the mayor's office shouting "This country is c*ap! This country is c*ap!"
An irritated police officer ran towards him and asked, "What did you say?"
The drunk replied, "A disgraced country, c*ap, I said!" The officer decided to arrest the man, handcuffed him, and took him to the police station.
The next day, when they went to court, the drunk claimed that he indeed said 'this country is a disgrace,' but he meant Iran.
The judge was irritated at the officer for wasting his time, so he imposed a hefty fine on the officer for abusing his power.
As they were leaving the court, the officer said, "How is it that you curse and I get fined?"
"Didn't I tell you?" said the drunk, patting him on the back, "This country is c*ap..."
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One day, a drunk man busted into the mayor's office shouting "This country is c*ap! This country is c*ap!"
An irritated police officer ran towards him and asked, "What did you say?"
The drunk replied, "A disgraced country, c*ap, I said!" The officer decided to arrest the man, handcuffed him, and took him to the police station.
The next day, when they went to court, the drunk claimed that he indeed said 'this country is a disgrace,' but he meant Iran.
The judge was irritated at the officer for wasting his time, so he imposed a hefty fine on the officer for abusing his power.
As they were leaving the court, the officer said, "How is it that you curse and I get fined?"
"Didn't I tell you?" said the drunk, patting him on the back, "This country is c*ap..."
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