Bottom Jokes

What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Happy birthday”- these two words
Are very often said
Many times and everywhere
They have been heard and read

If I use these oldish words
Believe me, that it’s true
From the bottom of my heart
They spring and just for you

(Horst Winkler)
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
How is Europe like a frying pan?
It has Greece at the bottom.
My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
A Question of Origins My 3 year old daughter came to me and asked: “Mommy, where does poo come from?” I decided it was best to explain it at a level she would understand so I said: “You just had breakfast?” “Yes”, she replied. “Well, the food goes in your mouth down into your tummy. Our body takes all the good stuff it needs out of the food and then what’s left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet that comes out as poo.” She looked confused and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds. Then asked: “And Tigger?”
You’re just like the black line at the bottom of the pool– I’d be lost without you.
Are you the black line at the bottom of the pool? Cause I can’t tear my eyes away from you.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
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