Bottom Jokes

My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldnโ€™t get to the bottom of it
Happy birthdayโ€- these two words
Are very often said
Many times and everywhere
They have been heard and read

If I use these oldish words
Believe me, that itโ€™s true
From the bottom of my heart
They spring and just for you

(Horst Winkler)
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
Youโ€™re just like the black line at the bottom of the poolโ€“ Iโ€™d be lost without you.
Are you the black line at the bottom of the pool? Cause I canโ€™t tear my eyes away from you.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
How is Europe like a frying pan?
It has Greece at the bottom.
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
A Question of Origins My 3 year old daughter came to me and asked: โ€œMommy, where does poo come from?โ€ I decided it was best to explain it at a level she would understand so I said: โ€œYou just had breakfast?โ€ โ€œYesโ€, she replied. โ€œWell, the food goes in your mouth down into your tummy. Our body takes all the good stuff it needs out of the food and then whatโ€™s left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet that comes out as poo.โ€ She looked confused and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds. Then asked: โ€œAnd Tigger?โ€
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
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