Both

What do Bruce Lee and the Donkey from Shrek have in common?
They have both entered the dragon.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
Why an astronaut can be said similar to a football player? They both strive for touchdowns!
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
My Wife is leaving me because of my obsession with cowboys
But that's ok this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
---

How does a german cowboy say hi?
Audi.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...
During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife rushes over. "How is my husband? What's his condition?"

The doctor replies: "Critical, miss."
My Wife is leaving me because of my obsession with cowboys
But that's ok this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
---
Acowboy enters the saloon
"Who painted my horse blue??"

A huge guy stands up, and walks right into the cowboy's face.

"It was me, you have a problem with that?"

"No...I just wanted to let you know that it's dry and ready for the second coating."
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?
No, they both burn shorter!
A Duel For Love
A Duel For Love A man gets home early from work and catches his wife in bed with another man... The husband challenges the other man to an old fashioned duel with his hand guns, whoever manages to shoot first and kill the other gets his wife. The other man agrees, so they go into another room so the wife doesn't have to see it. Once in the other room, the husband turns to the other man and says: "Why should either of us have to die? We will both fire a shot into the air and lay on the ground as if we're dead, when she comes in she will see our 'lifeless' bodies and rush to one of us, whoever she chooses can have her." The other man agrees again, so they fire into the air and collapse. The wife throws the door open and peers down at the two men, then backs out of the room and calls out: "Darling, you can come out! They're both dead!"