An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. And do you know what?"
"What?" asked the doctor.
"I've changed my will three times!"
A man walks into a bar and briskly orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots.
The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up. The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, โagain.โ
The bartender looks a little surprised, but lines of 12 more shots. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, โagain.โ
The bartender, visibly concerned, fills up 12 more shots and lines them on the bar. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, โagain.โ
The bartender says โhold up man! You gotta slow down!โ
The man says โtrust me, if you had what I had, youโd be drinking this fast too.โ
โMy God,โ says the bartender, quietly leaning over the bar he asks, โwhat do you HAVE?โ
โA dollar.โ
A man has found water while digging in his backyard. For many years, he used the water at home saving tons of money until one day, the water stopped flowing. So he dug a little bit further and found water again and used it for years until it also dried up. This time, he went further, brought a digging machine, and dug a deeper hole until he found water. Neighbors, annoyed by the noise, called the local sheriff who arrives to check what was happening in the backyard. The sheriff discovering the scene in the backyard says: "Well, well, well ... What have we got here?"
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