Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
How do you get a trombonist off your doorstep?
Pay them for the pizza.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!
Why do fluorescent lights hum?
Because they forgot the words.
What has forty feet and sings?
The school choir.
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaa.
What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Rap.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What’s the difference between a conductor and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a conductor.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What has a neck but no head?
A bass.
What’s Giuseppe Verdi’s favorite way to get around the airport?
La Travelator.
What do you get when you squish an army?
A flat major.
What do a sword and a piano have in common?
They can both B sharp.
Accordion to one study, people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument, but I don’t believe that tuba true.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!
What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A music critic.
Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
What types of songs do planets sing?
Nep-tunes.
What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?
Thank you for every ting.
What song do tornados like?
“The Twist.”
- Knock, knock!
- Who's there?
- Turnip.
- Turnip who?
- Turnip the volume, this is my all-time favorite song!
Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”
What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.
What’s the best Christmas present in the whole world?
A broken drum—you can’t beat it!
Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
To reach the high notes.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote too many Linkin Park songs.
But "in the end, it doesn't even matter".
Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock!
How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
He speeds up when he’s knocking.
Why do bagpipe players walk when they play?
To get away from the noise.
What do you call a musical insect?
A humbug.
What is a cat’s favorite song?
“Three Blind Mice.”
What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
What do you call clean music?
A soap opera!
There are so many jokes about a certain composer…
I could make you a Liszt.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Some might say the violinists in an orchestra don’t do much.
They just fiddle around.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What is another term for trombone?
A wind-driven, manually operated pitch approximator.
What did they say about the tone-deaf boy?
He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
Kazoontite.
Go to BabaMail
