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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair while tying the girl to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants to sleep with you, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!" |
168 Dad One-Liners So Bad They’re Good
These aren't just jokes; they're a rite of passage, a tradition as old as fatherhood itself. Whether you're a dad looking to expand your arsenal of cringe-inducing humor or someone who secretly loves a good (bad) pun, this collection has you covered.
This Joke Starts With a Retiree Entering a Pharmacy
When an old man walks into a drug store and makes an unusual request, the pharmacist decides to do a little prying...
Joke: Don't Drink and Jump
A man and a woman are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. The man soon makes a startling revelation...
10:41
A Funny Compilation of 'Destructive' Pranks!
This compilation of pranks is all about LOOKING like some massive destruction has been going on.
4:27
WATCH: A Young Steve Martin Amuses With His Magic Tricks
Enjoy this memorable clip from the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.
These Cartoons Are Sure to Make You Grin
If you love cartoon stripes then you came to the right place. Enjoy this collection of funny cartoons that are sure to make your day funnier and your step lighter.
1:47
There's Something Off About This Security Guard...
As if getting hit on by a creepy guy isn't bad enough, imagine getting hit on by a security guard when you have no opportunity to escape! Awkward-city!
These Building Blunders Will Make You Smile
Let’s take a look at some unbelievably hilarious construction mistakes that don’t make any sense.
Hilarious: These Weddings are Quite Bizarre!
Wedding photos capture some of life's most memorable moments - and sometimes, they capture the most hilarious ones too.
7:16
Funniest Kid Pranks by Just For Laughs
Take a few minutes to laugh with this excellent compilation of hilarious kid pranks.
You'll Get Some Laugh Lines After THESE Lines!
These monsters are out to make you giggle. They've got no less than 20 one-liners to share with you, and we bet you'll be in fits of laughter in no time.
6:07
Brilliant! Now THAT'S What I Call Perfect Comic Timing!
Michael Davis's juggling is something out of the ordinary. Be warned, you may find this peformance ridiculously hilarious.
Some Vets Have the Funniest Signs...
From unapologetic puns about neutering pets to side-splitting two-liners about the differences between cats and dogs, get ready to laugh your head off!
Meet War and Peas: Wit With a Twist
Are you ready for some great humor? Take a look at 16 of these funny webcomics!
Laughter Is the Best Medicine: 17 Chucklesome Comics
Enjoy these hilarious single-panel comics by cartoonist Jules Burton Suits.
Only in Canada: Hilarious Snaps of Canadian Life
If you think your winter is bad, it may be that the Canadian 'spring', and definitely their winter, would prove a bit much for you to handle...
We're Counting on These Math Jokes to Give You a Good Laugh
Add some laughter in your life with these math puns and jokes.
You Won’t Believe These Real Road Signs
Who on earth put these pointless signs all over our streets?!
Comic Break: 20 Funnies Artfully Produced
These comic strips created by Andres Colmenares also known as Wawawiwa comics, are too awesome to describe! Click here to check them out!
Beat the Monday Blues with These Funny One-Liners
Here are some hilarious Monday jokes to help you through the week.
Horses Being Hilarious: 16 Pics That Are Too Funny to Miss
Here are 15 hilarious horse pictures that make absolutely no sense but are impossible to forget.
18 Times Kids Were Caught In Hilariously Odd Situations
Kids live by their own rules, and it can result in some bizarre & absolutely hilarious situations, like adopting a brick or going to sleep with a jar of peanuts.
When Simple Jobs Went Hilariously Sideways
These construction mistakes, design fails, and signs are so funny that we can't stop laughing!
The Witty World of Funny Signs!
In this article, we feature 15 terrific signs that will make just about anyone laugh their heart out.
This Sign Says It All - Hilariously!
The Indian Hills Community Center sign in Colorado, USA, has gained a worldwide following thanks to the hilarious puns it displays. Here are 30 of them.
5:08
Classic Comedy: Don't EVER Let Mr. Bean Cut Your Hair...
Another hilarious scene from the beloved Mr. Bean. This time, he's decided to go to the barber's...
People Booked These Stays—And Immediately Regretted It
If you’ve ever had a disappointing hotel booking, these pictures will make you feel better.
What On Earth Were These Folks Thinking!? Very Silly Fails
What on earth were they thinking!? You really have to see these silly fails in order to believe them.
These Funny Quotes Nail Our Daily Struggles!
Cleaning. We all have to do it, and we rarely enjoy it. But that doesn't mean we can't share some jokes about it. These 10 quotes hit the right note.
Hilarious! Here Are 15 Animals Having a Really Bad Day...
Humans aren't the only ones who can have a really bad day every once in a while, and these 15 hilarious photos prove it!
2:09
Hilarious! Mrs Brown Can't Help But Make a Prank Call
Mrs Brown is in the mood for making a prank call.
Sarcastic Notes That Made Us Laugh Instead Of Cringe
Here are some of the funniest examples where subtle digs turned into comedy gold.
1:51
“Wait, You Work For The Bureau?” Funny Gag!
Watch what happens when innocent people find out that their partners are actually FBI agents!
Hilarious: Translation Bloopers You’ll Want to Read Twice
It’s time to enjoy some hilariously bad translation fails.
These Hilarious Animals Think They're the Next Big Stars
The animals you're about to see all appear to think that they're famous musicians with legions of fans! Take a look at these 18 hysterically funny pictures.
Office Comics: Frustrating Moments Can Be the Funniest!
No matter what job or at what age, anyone who has ever worked in an office environment will find these comics painfully relatable and funny
Beware! These Funny Comics May Cause Halloween Giggles
Enjoy these hilariously silly one-panel comics by Doug Hill to add some humor to your Halloween this year.
Hilarious: The Funniest Wedding Cake Toppings!
These wedding cakes toppers show weddings don’t have to be somber affairs and that couples have a sense of humor when they choose their cakes.
3:26
Classic Comedy: Charlie Chaplin in the Lion's Cage
In this hilarious classic sketch, Charlie Chaplin finds himself trapped inside a lion's cage. See what happens next here!
10 Funny Photos Taken Just 1 Second Before Utter Disaster
These hilarious photos were taken just a few moments before “tragedy” struck someone.
The Most Bizarre Signs Ever Spotted!
There are certain signs that you come across that leave you wondering what was going on in the mind of the person that put it up. Here are 16 hilarious signs.
3:56
Cats Vs Dogs: Who's in Charge? Adorable and Hilarious!
When it comes to cats vs dogs, who's the boss? Hilarious!
Cats Have An Innate Ability to Be Really Naughty..
If you have a cat, you know that they can be partial to behaving like jerks sometimes. This is especially true in the 19 hilarious photos you're about to see.
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