Nearing the end of a hard life, old Ed was surrounded by his loved ones. As he sensed his final moment was approaching, he gathered all his strength and whispered:
"I must tell you my greatest secret."
His family members were all ears, and urged him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," explained Ed.
"Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me..
...‘Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no-one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.'
"So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are...
"And you know what?"
"What?" Whispered the fascinated members of his family.
This Joke Starts With a Bible Study Group Discussing Death
A Bible study group is discussing the possibility of imminent death. Everyone gives predictable answers, except for one man in the group that is...
This Joke Starts With News of a Divorce to the Kids
An elderly Miami man calls his kids with news of a divorce from their mother, but all isn't as it seems...
Have You Heard This Joke? Good News Or Bad News?
An artist is pleased to hear that all 10 of her paintings on display have been bought by someone. Unfortunately, the big purchase has a twist...
It Looks Like the Camel's Gone and Humped Itself (Joke)
A nun and priest are traveling through the desert when their camel decides to die on them. The conversation soon turns elsewhere...
Have You Heard This Joke? Shenanigans in a Dark Tunnel
Four people are in a train compartment together when everything goes dark. An opportunistic poor man decides to capitalize on the opportunity...
This Joke Starts With a Greedy Man...
A stingy lawyer simply isn't willing to let go of the money he has earned - even in death. That's why he hatches to plan to prove that you can take it with you.
Hilarious! Mr. Bean Didn't Expect This at Art Class!
Mr. Bean takes an art class but never did he expect that he'd have to be drawing a naked woman...
Adorable: Before and After Photos of Pets Getting a Bath!
Take a look at these lovely pets, then wake them wet with one click of a mouse. The look on their freshly washed faces is absolutely priceless.
Hilarious: When a Ventriloquist Gets Hypnotized...
Watch this ventriloquist as she does a creative and funny routine I've never seen another ventriloquist do anything like this before!
Cheeky, Funny, Unapologetic Children - 20 Pics
Here are 20 funny test answers, all written by children who just couldn't be bothered.
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.
These Truly Outrageous Sights Can Only be Found in Russia!
If you're a huge fan of all things weird and wonderful, then there's no better place for you to visit than Russia. Here's why...
Comedy Classics: Christmas Shopping With Mr. Bean
This Christmas, let’s go shopping with Mr. Bean.
Hilarious: We All Have That One Friend Who's Kinda Silly...
In every group of friends, we have this one friend who just keeps messing up. If your group doesn't have one, then it's probably you...
Classic Comedy: Why Michelangelo Didn't Do the Last Supper
One of the lesser known sketches of the famous Monty Python is a hoot and a half - explaining why Michelangelo didn't paint the last supper.
Furry Scary: When Pets Left Their Owners Spooked!
Pets are adorable and make our lives better. Sometimes, though, they scare the living daylights out of us.
These Photos Will Leave You Doing a Double-Take!
There are some photos that will just leave you doing a double-take thanks to their perfect timing and odd composition. Take a look at these 18 surreal photos.
These 14 Photos Were Taken Just a Moment Before Disaster
These perfectly timed photos are hysterically funny!
These Cats and Dogs Cause Complete Christmas Carnage!
You dog or cat might be the world's most innocent creature for most of the year, but as soon as the holiday season comes around all this changes in a heartbeat.
HIALRIOUS: But Why????
Discover a collection of 35 different 'Why' jokes that are bound to make people of all ages giggle.
These Birds Have Gone Crazy! Somebody Stop Them!
Enjoy this hilarious collection of the funniest bird videos.
Funny Photos: You Had One Job!
These ridiculously funny work fail pictures will have you laughing all day.
These Animal Pictures Prove Nature Has a Sense of Humor
Every year, the Comedy Wildlife Photography Contest chooses the funniest animal pictures to promote animal conservation...
Classic Comedy: The Miracle of Birth!
This sketch puts a very funny light on the process of hospital birth. Thank goodness it isn't like this in real life... or is it?
HILARIOUS: These Pets are Real Drama Queens!
Just like humans, some pets throw tantrums when they want attention. Just look at these 12 hilarious four-legged drama queens.
You're Never Too Old To Have Fun! These Seniors Prove It
There may be some seniors who'd rather take life slowly. But others, do not want to waste a second having fun.
Funny Today: Caught in the Hood!
This cop pulls people over and asks them to lift their hood. When he slams it shut, he screams because little Johnson got caught under the hood and is stuck!
14 Crazy Things That Could Only Happen in One Country...
14 photos of things that you could only find in Russia. These will bring a smile to your face.
The Wit of Mark Twain: Quotes that are Amusing and True
One of the most famous American writers, Twain was known for his wit and darker humor. To this day, his quotes are an inspiration.
Classic Comedy: How to Keep a Man Focused!
A hilarious skit showing the fastest way to re-capture a man's wandering attention...
These Quirky Winter Quotes Will Help Warm Your Frosty Days
Embrace the cold season with these quirky winter quotes!
20 Terrible Translations That'll Make You Laugh!
Check out these 20 outrageously terrible translations that will make you laugh your head off!
Hilarious! The Joys of Motherhood - As Animals See Them
Motherhood may sound like a good idea, but it really takes it out of you, as these dog and cat mothers can hilariously testify.
This is a Song All Mothers Should Hear. Hilarious!
This beautiful and hilarious song should be sung by all mothers everywhere.
Hilarious: Grammar is a Funny Subject!
These grammar jokes will have you on the floor they are so ridiculous!
18 Funny Construction Bloopers That are Too Hard to Ignore
Take a look at some truly absurd and outrageous construction fails that will make you laugh out loud.
Simon's Cat: A Day in the Life of a Cat Owner
Being a cat owner really changes you as a person, only cat people understand this. But everyone will get the humor in this new extended Simon's Cat episode!
Babbling Babies & Playful Animals = Laughter Unlimited
This hilariously cute video will save your boring day!
These Work Safety Fails Will Make Your Hair Stand on End!
The work safety fails you’ll see in this article are not for the faint of heart. But don’t worry, no careless worker was harmed in the making of these photos!
If I Can’t Hug Them, Then Why Are These Animals SO CUTE?
These are the last animals you’d think of as ‘cute,’ yet here they are, looking as silly and precious as our beloved pets.
Here's Proof That Wrong Spacing Can Ruin Any Sign...
Sometimes, a tiny mistake like a space in the wrong place can make all the difference, turning an ordinary sign into the most hilarious one you've ever seen!
These Truths About Marriage are Bound Crack You Up!
These absolute truths about marriage will really crack you up!
These Brilliant Comic Strips Reveal Winter's Funny Side...
These comics perfectly portray the funny side of winter, and you'll find that many of the ideas they present are painfully true!
Only in Canada: 18 Pics That Perfectly Describe the Place!
There really is no other place like Canada, and these pictures prove it.