“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”