"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney