“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”