"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
Can we still share a netflix account?
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."