My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
You smell. We should go take a shower together.
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
You look like trash, may I take you out?
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
How hot does your gas oven get?
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
You look a lot like my next victim.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
You're the thought that counts!
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.