I'm not gay but I'll learn.
"My cat doesn't like you."
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
You look like my future ex wife.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
We're donion rings.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
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