Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
I really like you. So does my wife.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
"My cat doesn't like you."
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
"You deserve better and so do I."
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
You are so right. And I am so left.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?