World

I hope for world peas.
I went on a date with a Chess World Champion the other night.
It took her about 10 minutes to pass the salt.
“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”
Anthony Burgess
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
Winston Churchill
Your parents are the greatest comedians in the world.
They made a joke decades ago and we're all still laughing at it.
What is the least spoken language in the world?
Sign Language.
If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line
They would all be a lot more comfortable.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Kids Can Be Cruel...
Kids Can Be Cruel... Little Timothy was a bright young boy, and he was even fairly handsome. The only problem was that he was lost his eye in a fishing accident when he was younger. His family was too poor to afford a glass eye, so his grandfather whittled him a wooden one. He was made fun of all through school for his eye and it completely destroyed his self esteem. But he was tired of letting the world get him down. The school dance was coming up and he would be damned if he didn't let himself have a good time. Timothy had eyes for a girl named Sally. She was shy and just as lonely as he was, due to having a fairly pronounced mustache, earning her the nickname, "Hair-lip". Well Timmy saw past her 'stache and thought she was the most beautiful girl in school, and he decided he was going to ask her out. He waited until lunch, and spotted her eating a peanut butter sandwich alone in the corner of the lunchroom. He marched up to her and said, "Sally, I've been seeing you around for a while, and, well... Would you like to go to the dance with me?" Sally's eyes lit up and she responded, "Would I!" "Hair-lip!" blurted Timothy and ran away.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don't.
A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
I was just looking at my ceiling. I am not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!