Watched Jokes

I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
One day when I was young, I watched my father grilling burgers.
When they were done, he handed me one telling me it was a bison burger.

He than left, and never came back.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
When I got home from camp today,
My parents almost died.
They asked me how I got this way,
And here's what I replied:

This little cast from heel to hip
Is nothing much at all.
Some broken shingles made me slip
From off the dining hall.

The poison ivy's not too bad.
It missed my back and chest.
Of course, I guess I oughta add
Mosquitoes got the rest.

I tried to eat some hick'ry nuts
And cracked a tooth or two.
And all these bruises, scabs, and cuts?
I haven't got a clue.

I got the lump that's on my head
From diving in the lake.
I should've watched for rocks instead
Of grabbing for the snake.

That leaves this bandage on my chin
And these three finger sprains,
Along with lots of sunburned skin
And sniffles from the rains.

I also got a muscle cramp
And very nearly drowned.
It's some terrific summer camp,
The coolest one around.

(By Richard Thomas)
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
There was an Old Man of Peru,
Who watched his wife making a stew;
But once by mistake,
In a stove she did bake,
That unfortunate Man of Peru.
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
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