Warm Jokes

Can you hold my gloves for a second? I usually warm them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
You warm my heart more than the salted caramel hot chocolate on a cold winter day.
Do you like warm weather? Cause I'm gonna put my warm balls on your face whether you like it or not.
There a cold front coming... but I’m gonna keep your front warm.
Cold showers are the best...
...Once you warm up to them
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
I once knew a man who lived in a jar.
For a stranger sight you’d have to go far.
I asked him once why he lived in a jar.
He grimaced and said, how bizarre you are.
My jar’s so cozy, warm and bright,
Even in the full moonlight.
The only drawback is, you see,
Getting out quickly when I have to pee.
(Irwin Mercer)
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warm.”

- Alfred North Whitehead.
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