Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
What's warm, wet, and pink? a pig in a hot tub.
What's soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you wake up? Vomit
If you were in bed with me, I wouldn't need the cover to keep warm.
Bbrrrr! My hands are cold. Can I stick them down your pants to warm them up?
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
There was an old person of Troy,
Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,
Which he took with a spoon,
By the light of the moon,
In sight of the city of Troy.
A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy?" The cowboy says "why yes mame, born and raised right here in Montana and have worked on the ranch since I was knee high to a pup."

The woman says " I've always wondered why cowboys always wear those big hats." The wide brim keeps the sun off'aya when it's hot and the rain off'aya when it rain'n."

"Why do you all wear vests?" Well mame, it keeps ya warm when it's cold but it leaves your arms free for rope'n and work'n."

"What about the chaps? " "They keep the burrs and brambles off'a ya."

She says "that all makes perfect sense, but what I don't understand is why you'd wear tennis shoes."

"Aww, that's easy, that's so folks don't mistake us for TRUCKERS!"
Robin Williams
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "Nice going. The computer is completely screwed now."
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!