Warm Jokes

What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
I once knew a man who lived in a jar.
For a stranger sight you’d have to go far.
I asked him once why he lived in a jar.
He grimaced and said, how bizarre you are.
My jar’s so cozy, warm and bright,
Even in the full moonlight.
The only drawback is, you see,
Getting out quickly when I have to pee.
(Irwin Mercer)
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Can you hold my gloves for a second? I usually warm them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warm.”

- Alfred North Whitehead.
Cold showers are the best...
...Once you warm up to them
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
You warm my heart more than the salted caramel hot chocolate on a cold winter day.
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