Wants Jokes

My birch of a wife just told me she wants a divorce. Says she’s tired of all of my tree puns.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”—Groucho Marx
My daughter wants a horse...
But first we need a stable income.
What do you call a kid who wants to cannibalise his siblings?
A munchkin.
My wife said she wants me to consider purchasing a decent telescope for the family to use.
I told her I’d look into it.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Is your name Rapunzel, cause I need a girl who never leaves the bedroom and constantly wants me to pull her hair?
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Are those Guess jeans? Because guess who wants to get into them.
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