Wake Jokes

I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
“Remember not to leave a fire burning in your fireplace this Christmas Eve, or else you might wake up to a Crisp Kringle.”
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Lady, you mak me All Shook Up and wake my Animal Instinct
I have known you quite a while,
When you talk, you make me smile.
A special friend, I will probably keep,
If you buy me a cool jeep.

It’s your birthday, I nearly forgot,
Searched on-line, bought you squat.
Hope you don’t turn all bitter,
Since you’ve never been a quitter.

I nearly quit, writing this verse,
Mind is blank, it’s a curse,
Soon your party will be here,
If I wake up, I’ll surely appear.

(Martin Dejnicki)
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
“They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.” — Alexander Pope
“Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.”—Unknown
I always like to keep my place stocked with coffee and breakfast food in case I don't wake up alone.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
If you wake up in a box tomorrow morning, it's cause I asked for the sexiest person in the world for Christmas.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy