Wake

What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill cupboard quietly?
So she wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills.
What's soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you wake up? Vomit
People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning.
No, I say. I just bring him some coffee.
When I drink, I always end up with rosy cheeks,
I wake up in the flower bed at the end of my garden the next day.
You know you’re getting old when…
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.