Uses

How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
How does santa get his Reindeer to fly? He uses Red Bull because it gives you wings!
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Darn thing's an hour fast."
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
Yo Mama so short she uses a toothpick as a pool cue.
Yo Mama so short she uses a sock for a sleeping bag.