Throw

When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.
He said, “Maybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
An extremely slim model, Miss Slater,
Was attacked by a croc and it ate 'er.
Said her trainer, Tough deal,
What a horrible meal,
We should throw it some greens and potater.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash light into an epileptic children’s ward.
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
Linoleum Blownapart.
Roses are Red
Violets are blue
If I had a brick
I’d throw it at you.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You may think these limericks are crass
and throw me a comment to sass
but I will agree
to some degree
and I’ll still show you the crack of my ass
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!

What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
How do you confuse a blond?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
How do you stop a man from raping you? Throw him the remote control.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.