Thanks Jokes

When I go to donate blood I expect a cup of tea, a biscuit and a polite word of thanks...
...not a whole lot of screaming, my bucket confiscated, and a cop asking me questions.
As I was preparing to leave the restaurant, the waiter said to me, “Do you wanna box for your leftover food?”
I said, “No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Nurse: Wow, that cut looks pretty bad...want me to stitch it up for you?
Me: No, thanks.

Nurse: Fine. Suture self.
Man: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Woman: No thanks, I don't like small talk.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
Are you good at finding things? Because I think you may have found my heart. Also, I don't know which zone I parked my car into so I need help with that too. Thanks!
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
Me: I’d like to book an appointment at the hospital please Receptionist: how about 10 tomorrow?
Me: no I don’t need that many, only one thanks.
If I had a dollar every time a woman called me handsome...
I would have one dollar... thanks, mom...
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
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