“I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy.”
- James, ‘Look Who’s Talking.’
“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.”
A man and his dog walk into a talent agents office.
"All right, lets make this quick, I have things to do. Says the bored agent. "What's your talent?"
The man says, "Its not me sir, its my dog -- he talks!"
"Yeah, right," says the agent. "I don't have time for this, now get out of here before I throw you out."
"No, wait," says the man. "I'll prove it."
He turns to the dog and asks, "What do you normally find on top of a house?"
"Roof!" says the dog, wagging his tail.
"Listen, pal..." says the agent.
"Wait," says the man, "I'll ask another question."
He turns to the dog again and asks, "How does sandpaper feel?"
"Rough!" exclaims the dog.
"Quit wasting my time and get out of here." sighs the agent.
"One more chance," pleads the man.
Turning to the dog again, he asks, "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?"
"Ruth!" barked the dog.
The man turns to the agent with a bright smile.
"Okay, that's it!" says the agent. He gets up and forces the man and the dog out the door.
Turning to the man, the dogs sighs and says:
"Joe Dimaggio?"
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A man and his dog walk into a talent agents office.
"All right, lets make this quick, I have things to do. Says the bored agent. "What's your talent?"
The man says, "Its not me sir, its my dog -- he talks!"
"Yeah, right," says the agent. "I don't have time for this, now get out of here before I throw you out."
"No, wait," says the man. "I'll prove it."
He turns to the dog and asks, "What do you normally find on top of a house?"
"Roof!" says the dog, wagging his tail.
"Listen, pal..." says the agent.
"Wait," says the man, "I'll ask another question."
He turns to the dog again and asks, "How does sandpaper feel?"
"Rough!" exclaims the dog.
"Quit wasting my time and get out of here." sighs the agent.
"One more chance," pleads the man.
Turning to the dog again, he asks, "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?"
"Ruth!" barked the dog.
The man turns to the agent with a bright smile.
"Okay, that's it!" says the agent. He gets up and forces the man and the dog out the door.
Turning to the man, the dogs sighs and says:
"Joe Dimaggio?"
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