Tail

Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!

What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
I feel tail great!
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
Too Much Alike
Too Much Alike A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "what's the matter?" The fellow replies, "well I've got these two horses (sniff, sniff), and well... I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods." The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of something he can do. "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?" The man stops crying and says, "that sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it." A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. "What's the matter now?" the bartender asks. The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!" The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "why don't you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not grow back." The fellow stops crying, has a few drinks, and leaves. A few months later the fellow is back in the bar. The bartender has never seen anybody in this sorry of a state. Without the bartender even asking the fellow breaks into his problems. "I.. I shaved the (sob) mane of one of the (sniff) horses, and... it... it... grew back!" The bartender, now furious at the guy's general stupidity, yells, "for crying out loud, just measure the stupid horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller than the other one!" The fellow cannot believe what the bartender has said and storms out of the bar. The next day the fellow comes running back into the bar as if he had just won the lottery. "It worked, it worked!" he exclaims. "I measured the horses and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"
A Man Buys a Pig on a Farm
A Man Buys a Pig on a Farm An American man was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100-pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with his teeth. The farmer said, "This one will go a little over a 100". Astonished, the Yankee said, "Who are you trying to fool? You can't weigh a pig that way". The farmer laughed and called to his young son, "Boy, come over here and weigh that pig for this man". The boy obliged by bending over and picking up the pig by its tail with his teeth. Turning to his father the boy said: "This here pig weighs about 100 pounds". The Yankee was having no part of this, so in order to convince him, the farmer told his son to go to the house and get his mother so she could weigh the pig. After a short delay, the son returned and said, "Ma says she will be right down after she's finished weighing the mailman."
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.