Swing Jokes

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
You're so short that you could sit on a dime and swing your legs.
Girl sat on a swing.
Trying to sing a song for god.
Missing him, not me.
"My wife had us register for fine china, because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a $200 plate." — Jim Gaffigan
Spread your legs shoulder width, that's the first step to a successful golf swing.
I'm still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing.
Yo Mama so short she can sit on a penny and swing her legs.
How do you get a clown off a swing?
Hit him with an axe.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
The Drunk Stranger A husband and wife are in bed when there is a knock at the door. The husband rolls over and looks at his clock - it's 3:30 a.m. He drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. "Hi ya," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?" "Get lost," says the man. "It's half-past three." He slams the door and goes back up to bed. He tells his wife about the drunk. She shakes her head and says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain and you had to knock on that man's door? What would've happened if he'd told us to get lost?" Shamefaced, Dave admits she has a point. So he gets up again and gets fully dressed, puts on his shoes and picks up all his tools then goes to his own car and takes out some cables. Finally having all he needs to assist any problem the man may have, he opens the door and calls out, "Hey, do you still want a push?" A voice answers, "Yes, please." "Where are you?" calls the man. "I'm over here..." replies the stranger. "...on your swing set."
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