Push Jokes

How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
Yo mama so fat she laid on the beach and Greenpeace tried to push her back in the water.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
The instructions on this stick deodorant said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I can hardly walk!
Would you sit on my feet while I do push ups?
How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.
Excuse me, would you be a gentleman and push in my stool?
Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
The Drunk Stranger A husband and wife are in bed when there is a knock at the door. The husband rolls over and looks at his clock - it's 3:30 a.m. He drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. "Hi ya," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?" "Get lost," says the man. "It's half-past three." He slams the door and goes back up to bed. He tells his wife about the drunk. She shakes her head and says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain and you had to knock on that man's door? What would've happened if he'd told us to get lost?" Shamefaced, Dave admits she has a point. So he gets up again and gets fully dressed, puts on his shoes and picks up all his tools then goes to his own car and takes out some cables. Finally having all he needs to assist any problem the man may have, he opens the door and calls out, "Hey, do you still want a push?" A voice answers, "Yes, please." "Where are you?" calls the man. "I'm over here..." replies the stranger. "...on your swing set."
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
As my wife was giving birth, all the doctors and nurses started yelling, “Push! Push!”
I was convinced it was a Pull door.
“Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.”
If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?
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