Step Jokes

I want to live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
Did I just step into an E. M. Forster novel? Because any room with you in it is A Room with a View.
Step over here, please. You've set off my babe detector and I'm afraid I'm going to have to scan you with my wand.
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
If I gave you my shoe, would you step into my life?
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
What is the difference between a step stool and a 3D printer?
The former is a ladder, while the latter is a former.
Spread your legs shoulder width, that's the first step to a successful golf swing.
Yo mama so tall that when I told her to take one step back she went to the other side of the world.
Once, my neighbor told me, "Move, you tree". I sternly replied, "Careful I don't step on you, short person".
Must be tough needing a step stool to kiss your wife good bye each day.
Look straight into my eyes. Hold in, let me get a step ladder.
A Very Clever Dog
A Very Clever Dog As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "5 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After a while, he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" bell, then the butcher follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog. The butcher runs up and screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!" "Genius, my butt - It's the second time this week he's forgotten his keys!"
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
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