I’m sure people make jokes about getting older You politely laugh with a quiet smoulder I know you, always being so polite Jokes about getting older aren’t always right Don’t worry about it, age is just a number Don’t you ever let anyone steal your thunder! Happy Birthday!
Once upon a time, the government had a vast scrapyard in the middle of a desert.
Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night."
So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"
So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.
Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing his tasks correctly?"
So they created the Quality Control Department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created a time keeper and a payroll officer position. Then hired two people.
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people: An Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."
So they laid off the night watchman.
I'm Sneaky Bill, I'm terrible and mean and vicious, I steal all the cashews from the mixed-nut dishes. I eat all the icing but I won't touch the cake, And what you won't give me, I'll go ahead and take. I gobble up the cherries from everyone's drinks, And whenever there are sausages I grab a dozen links; I take both drumsticks if there's turkey or chicken, And the biggest strawberries are what I'm pickin'; I make sure I get the finest chop on the plate, And I'll eat the portions of anyone's who's late. I'm always on the spot before the dinner bell-- I guess I'm pretty awful but I do eat well!
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears. "What are you?" asks the cat. "I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?" The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."