I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.
“It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.”
Navjot Singh Sidhu
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat.
The government hates competition.
You stole my heart, so can I steal your last name?
Let's commit the perfect crime, I'll steal your heart and you'll steal mine.
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.

Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.