Politicians

St. Peter and the Politicians
St. Peter and the Politicians St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates of Heaven When a group of politicians walked up. "Hey Petey, may we come in too Heaven?" asks one jovially. St. Peter replies "Well, we have never had a group of politicians come in to heaven before, let me ask God." He then turns around and goes to consult God. "My lord, there is a group of politicians at the pearly gates of Heaven. Should I let them in?" God thinks for a moment and says "We have never had politicians in Heaven before. Let's see how it goes. Let them in." St. Peter leaves God, only to come running back a few minutes later. "THEY'RE GONE!" He said. "The politicians?" "THE PEARLY GATES!!"
The Risks of Anal
The Risks of Anal A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal se*, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea  'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.  'Actually, yes, I do.'  'Does it hurt you?' he asked.  'No. I rather like it.'  'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal se*, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.'  The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal se*?'  'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think politicians come from?"
A child asked his father "Dad, do politicians ever tell the truth?"
The father answered, "Only when they call each other liars."
The Generous Barber
The Generous Barber A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door. Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the community." The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer. Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the country." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senators in front of the door.