Singing Jokes

"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment.
It’s a little flat.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
My mom told me to stop singing "Im a Believer" because it was annoying.
At first I though she was kidding...Then I saw her face.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
My sister asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall”
I said maybe.
Stevie Wonder's Golf Game A famous golfer, Jack Nicklaus, is sitting in a bar drinking with Stevie Wonder. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says, "How is the singing career going?" Stevie Wonder says, "Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way how is the golf?" Nicklaus replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I'm still making a bit of money. I have some problems with my swing but I think I've got that right now." "I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be alright." says Stevie. "You... you play golf!?" asks a dumbfound Jack. Stevie says, "Sure, I've been playing for years." "But... forgive me," Says a baffled Nicklaus. "I thought you were blind. How can you play golf if you're blind?" Stevie Wonder smiles. "No offense taken. It's an understandable question. What I do is I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands the caddie moves to the green or further down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice." He explains. "But how do you putt?" Nicklaus wonders. "Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball to the sound of his voice." "And what is your handicap?" Jack asks. "I play off scratch." Stevie assures him. Nicklaus is incredulous and says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime." Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole." Nicklaus thinks it over and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would you like to play?" "I don't care - any night next week is fine with me."
Yo mama so fat when she goes swimming the whales start singing "We Are Family".
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
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