Saying Jokes

One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
I'm no Jane, but I'd Eyre on the side of saying I think you're beautiful.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted."
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
I heard short people hear what the ancestors are saying since they are so close to the ground.
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘D***, that was fun.'”
— Groucho Marx
"When I tell my kids I'll do something in a minute, what I'm really saying is "Please forget." - @SarcasticMommy4
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