Pressure Jokes

"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
Cooking is bad for my anxiety.
I had to throw away my pressure cooker.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
At a recent job interview, the hiring manager
asked me if I can perform under pressure.
I said: "No, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody."
Avoid pier pressure.
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
Artists know how to draw the line, so you can't really peer pressure them.
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
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