Pay Jokes

The Old Man and the Noisy Boys A widower, on his retirement, purchased a house situated near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first semester, three young boys came down the street, beating merrily on every bin they passed. They did this the following day and the day's after that, for a week, until the man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the boys as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Would you do me a favor? I would give you each a dollar, if you promise to come around and do your thing." The boys were more than happy to accept this and continued to bang the bins. After a few days, the man came out to meet them with a sad smile, and said, "This recession really is putting a dent in my income. From now on, I will pay you each 50 cents to continue." The boys were unimpressed by this, but continued to do the same afternoon activities. A few days later, the man approached them again and said, "Look, the recession has again reduced my income, so from now on, I am afraid I can only pay you 25 cents each." The leader then exclaims angrily, "That's it? If you really think we are going to waste our time banging the bins for 25 cents each, you must be a fool. No way that's going to happen. We quit." The man then enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Levi's should pay you a royalty.
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
Babe, are you Spotify? Because I would pay premium to spend uninterrupted time with you.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
If I had a dollar for every time someone said not to look directly at the eclipse...
I'd have enough money to pay for the eye surgery I need.
You forgot to pay your income tax so I'm coming to seize your ASSets.
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